


LUCKY STRIKE.

by trustsalvatore



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Dark Jasper Hale, Death, F/M, Heavy Angst, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:55:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27991857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trustsalvatore/pseuds/trustsalvatore
Summary: ❝ you taste like lucky strikes,tell me all the ways to love you ❞-in which she makes the dire mistakeof getting too close to a girl witha very dead boyfriend-𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑, Aubrey Reyes had loved Victor. As deeply as two teenager's could have loved one another. In the two years she'd been with him, they'd gone out of their way to make plans for their future. They were meant to move out of Forks, Washington, to an apartment in New Orleans or London. They were meant to be happy with another.In the summer before their senior year, he disappeared in the woods during a camping trip with his brothers. He was found two weeks later, washed up by a waterfall, drained of blood and a scar on his neck.When Aubrey is forced to move on with her life and return to school, she notices the Cullen family listening a little too closely to her stories about her ex-boyfriend -- in particular, Jasper Hale.
Relationships: Alice Cullen & Edward Cullen & Emmett Cullen & Jasper Hale & Rosalie Hale, Alice Cullen & Edward Cullen & Emmett Cullen & Jasper Hale & Rosalie Hale & Bella Swan, Jasper Hale & Original Female Character(s), Jasper Hale/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. LUCKY STRIKE

❝ our love was running  
into a burning building ❞

-

in which jasper makes the dire mistake of getting too close to a girl with  
a very dead boyfriend

-

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑, Aubrey Reyes had loved Victor. As deeply as two teenager's could have loved one another. In the two years she'd been with him, they'd gone out of their way to make plans for their future. They were meant to move out of Forks, Washington, to an apartment in New Orleans or London. They were meant to be happy with another.

In the summer before their senior year, he disappeared in the woods during a camping trip with his brothers. He was found two weeks later, washed up by a waterfall, drained of blood and a scar on his neck.

When Aubrey is forced to move on with her life and return to school, she notices the Cullen family listening a little too closely to her stories about her ex-boyfriend -- in particular, Jasper Hale.

-

❝ our love was scattered ash  
with a burnt out feeling❞

-

𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓

bianca santos as aubrey reyes  
❝ if you ask me, i'm grieving pretty  
fucking well for someone with a  
dead boyfriend, lauren ❞

ezra miller as victor hoffman  
❝ my dad once told me i have the  
backbone of a chocolate eclair,  
so, y'know, that was my childhood ❞

finn wolfhard as bennett hoffman

❝ dear diary, my teenage angst  
bullshit now has a body count ❞

sofia black d'elia as brinley hoffman  
❝ it never actually stops hurting. you  
kinda just learn to make room for it ❞

timothee chalamet as roman hoffman  
❝ as your friend, i'm obligated to say  
violence is wrong, but those bitches  
fucking deserved it ❞

-

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

smoke and fire - sabrina carpenter  
❝ the memories are still in my mind,  
burning like smoke and fire ❞

would that i - hozier  
❝ true that love in withdrawal  
was the weeping of me ❞

still hurting - the last five years  
❝ give me a day, bring back the lies  
hang them up on the wall ❞

raindrops - ariana grande  
❝ when raindrops fell down from the  
sky, the day you left me, an angel cried ❞

when you can't sleep at night - om&m  
❝ lay your head down on my  
embrace, be not afraid to love me❞

-

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑

\- this book contains strong language and topics that can be triggering to some viewers. these topics include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and includes major character death. for your safety, please proceed with caution.

\- aubrey reyes is mexican-american, and the hoffman family is jewish. some of the characters will be affiliated with the lgbt community. if you have any problems with this, i kindly ask you to leave.

\- i do not own twilight or its characters. all rights belong to stephanie meyer. however, aubrey, victor, roman, bennett and other characters are my own original characters. i own the characters, their backstory, and the plot to this book. they are all works of fiction, and any resemblance to people in real life are purely coincidental.

\- this book is very loosely based off the netflix series, dead to me.


	2. PREFACE

It was nights like this that had always been the hardest. Nights when sleep seemed too far out of reach, and the hours ticking by reminded Aubrey Reyes of everything she would never have.

She tossed in her bed, eyes forcing themselves shut as she pretended not to notice the fading smell of cologne on her sheets. When Brinley had broken the news to her, she'd gone out of her way to steal what was left of his Old Spice cologne. It had been half-empty when she found it, and she had used the rest of it on her sheets and clothes. She would always be able to remember his face, and the sound of his voice, and the way his touch would present her with a sense of hearth that she'd never felt before; but she wouldn't always remember the way he smelled.

It was at two o'clock in the morning that Aubrey had given up on her hopes to fall asleep. She grasped at the sheets on her bed, and let herself remember the conversation they'd had before his camping trip. The conversation she replayed in her head so often in the hopes that each time she did it, it would hurt less. It never did.

"Name one hero who was happy." Victor had been staring up at the ceiling for almost thirty minutes, while Aubrey had rested her head on his shoulder.

She considered it for a moment. He'd always been an avid fan of Greek mythology. Conversations like this had never been few and far between. They usually forced her to brush up on the stories she'd learned in the sixth grade.

Heracles had gone mad and killed his entire family; Theseus had lost his bride and father; Jason's children and new wife were murdered by his old one; Bellerophon had killed the Chimera, but was crippled by a fall from Pegasus' back.

"You can't." He sat up, causing Aubrey's head to fall onto the dilapidated pillows. He leaned forward, a childish smile on his face as Aubrey sent him a playful glare. "I know you can't, because I can't, and everyone knows you suck at this."

"Fuck you, Vic." She laughed, tossing a throw pillow. He caught it with ease and tossed it behind him. "You're right, though. I can't."

"I know." He groaned, tossing his head back. "They never let you be famous and happy."

"They don't," Aubrey agreed.

Victor leaned forward, lifting an eyebrow at his girlfriend. "But I'll tell you a secret."

"Oh, yeah?" The Reyes girl grinned, sitting up. She loved when he was like this. "Tell me."

"I'm gonna be the first. And you're gonna fucking be there with me." He took her palm and held it in his. A small gesture, but an intimate one. He'd always been fond of those. "Swear it."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the reason." He'd said it as if it were obvious, and rolled his eyes in the process. "Now swear it, Bree."

"I swear it." She'd said it without thinking, without realizing what he must have been planning on his trip to Maine. She'd been lost in the blush in his cheeks, and the light in his eyes.

"I swear it," He echoed. Then, he wrapped his arms around her, and tackled her onto the bed, holding her to his chest as though she would slip away if he didn't. He placed his head against Aubrey's and grinned when a smile exploded on her face. "I feel like I could eat the world raw." 

Tears made their way down Aubrey's face as she opened her eyes, and was met with complete darkness. He was gone now, buried somewhere in Forks' cemetery where she hadn't found it in her heart to visit him. How long had it been? Four months?

A sob wracked her body, and she raised one of the throw pillows above her head and threw it across the room. A lamp clattered to the floor as she wrapped her arms around herself, a voice in her head screaming to get herself together.

He'd become just like the others. A goddamn stereotype in his book -- and, if he were still alive, no better than a crappy after school special. Within the walls of Forks High School, he would be whispered about in every hallway. His name would be tainted with death, and slurs that only monsters should hear on their way down to Hell.

Either way, Aubrey Reyes would have to hear every bit of it.


	3. i. cinnamon girl

❝ there's thing i wanna talk about, but better not to give ❞

"I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO FUCKING BE HERE." Bennett protested as the black Toyota came to a halt. He glared outside his window, charcoal irises fixated on the chattering teenagers in the parking lot. Most were freshmen and sophomores, electrified by the idea of the first day of school. Ready to meet their new teachers and see their best friends.

It was too bad Bennett's best friend was dead.

Aubrey shut off the engine, running her thumb and index finger along her silver house key. It grounded her in a way nothing could these days. Usually, she had relied on Victor's company. It was in his presence that nothing was ever quiet. He always played his music just a little too loud, or talked just a little too much. Rarely did she have a quiet moment with him.

She turned to the boy in the passenger seat, who seemed to be a mirror image of Victor and Roman combined. He didn't smile as often as Victor and Roman, though; but it wasn't as though she could blame him. Of all the Hoffman siblings that had been forced to deal with Victor's death, Bennett had struggled the most.

"Brinley asked me to watch over you," Aubrey told him after a moment. She looked over at the boy, who hadn't moved to look at her.

"Fuck Brinley." Bennett flinched at his own words, regretting them the moment he said them. Brinley was the eldest of the Hoffman siblings, at twenty-three years old. Still, she was known for her icy exterior. Something as simple as her presence demanded respect. And although she was miles away in Seattle, he immediately retracted his statement. "Sorry. I didn't mean that."

"I know." Aubrey frowned when the boy still refused to look at her. "You're gonna be all right."

Bennett scoffed. "You know that's not what I'm worried about."

Aubrey bit the inside of her cheek, her gaze shifting to the large building behind the parking lot. All of the Hoffman siblings had attended Forks High School -- Brinley, Roman, Victor, and now Bennett. And regardless, Matthew and Lillian Hoffman had strong genes. The teachers, students and staff would take one glance at Bennett and know who he was.

"I'm literally gonna get out of the car, and I fucking promise you the first thing I'm gonna hear is, 'holy shit! Your brother's dead!'" Bennett ranted, pulling a box of cigarettes and a lighter from his coat pocket. "I mean, what do you expect? We're in Forks. Victor dying is the most interesting thing since Heather Duke got those fucking chest implants three years ago."

"How do you know about that? She was a senior."

"She came over to 'study' with Roman and then tried to get back together with him. I'm pretty sure Roman doesn't even like people, you know? Which is fine, but it makes him look available." He held a cigarette between his teeth, lighting it as he opened a window.

"Those things'll kill you, you know," Aubrey pointed out. "Victor didn't even smoke."

"No, but Roman did," Bennett said with a shrug, blowing a puff of smoke out his window. He held the red Marlboro box in his hands. "Found these on his dresser before he skipped town again."

"You're fourteen." She snatched the box from him, holding it behind her when he tried to grab it back. "Try and take care of yourself."

"What's the point if I'm just gonna end up fucking dying anyway?" Bennett sneered, popping open his door and slamming it behind him. The boy tossed his messenger bag over his shoulder, throwing the cigarette at the floor and stepping on it. As he marched toward the school, he flared the top of his black coat, hiding his face within the collar.

Aubrey leaned back in her seat, the seventeen-year-old girl shutting her eyes for a moment. She'd known Bennett since he was seven years old, and she was ten. Their parents had become family friends, so she would visit their house often, and was lucky enough that the Hoffmans had given birth to four children all within three years of each other. He'd always been the happiest of all of their children. Cynical and a bit weird at times, but happy nevertheless.

The first time she met him, he was running to his parents and Brinley to show them the Lego airplane he built. They'd all cheered him on and encouraged him to continue, and he would run off and build some more, before coming back to show them his progress not ten minutes later. If there was one person that didn't deserve to grieve like this, it would've been Bennett.

It was when she shut her eyes that she could hear Victor's voice. His laughter, and the way he would speak erratically even when he was trying to calm her down. She could hear him telling her his plans of everything he was going to do after high school. Of how they would go to New Orleans or Oregon. Of how he loved her, and he couldn't imagine a life without her. She could hear him telling her about the souvenirs he would bring back for her when he went on his annual camping trip to New Hampshire with his brothers and his dad.

She winced at the memories and her eyelids flew open, her vision blurred by tears.

It was during moments like this that Aubrey wondered if she was cursed. She'd been fifteen years old when her mother found her father hanging from a noose in their closet. He had left a note, but her mother had refused to let her read it, and she knew better than to argue with a woman like Martha Reyes. It was in the months following his death that she threw herself into her relationship with Victor.

And now, here she was in her car, not three months since her boyfriend's death, trying to take care of his grieving little brother and strategizing how she could enter the school without passing by Lauren and Tyler. They'd been one of the many to text her when Forks' local news station heard about Victor. The only messages she'd taken were from Jessica and Dara, and even then, her responses were few and far between.

She supposed it was unfair. They'd been Victor's friends, too, along with Mike and Angela; though, Lauren stuck to Jessica like glue. She couldn't risk it.

Aubrey glanced at the time before shoving her keys in her bag and throwing it over her shoulder. The Latina girl pulled her hoodie over her head as she exited her car, locking it as she went to follow Bennett into the school. Brinley had already sent her a photo of his schedule the day prior, and almost all of their classes were only about a hallway apart.

Heaviness builds in Aubrey's chest as she turns to face her locker. She'd taken the same locker she had the year prior, when she and Victor had planned to be locker buddies. Her eyes drift to the bolt on the locker to her right, which was still turned inward, implying nobody had taken it.

On one hand, she was relieved. If she'd seen that the lock was turned, she would've denied the universe's claims that Victor died all together. She might've believed that if she visited her lock often enough, she would catch a glimpse of him standing there, looking through his books and trying to figure out what class he had next.

On the other hand, there was the chance that nobody claimed it out of fear that it was cursed. Some of the students at the high school might've started an urban legend about it -- which she was almost positive Victor wouldn't have minded. It didn't change the fact that it was insulting.

"You took the same locker?"

She jumped, spinning around to catch a glance of Jessica Stanley's light brown curls. "Oh. Yeah, I wanted to feel close to him."

"I get it," Jessica nodded. She hugged her books close to her chest. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really," Aubrey admitted. She was afraid that if she talked about it, she would eventually start crying. And then she wouldn't be able to stop. "So, anything new? How have you been?"

"Well..." The younger girl trailed off, a smile appearing on her face. "This family just moved to town, and they're so hot. I saw them by their cars in the parking lot. I asked around, and they're the Cullens, I think. Some doctor and his wife just moved to town, and they're, like, foster kids or whatever."

The Reyes girl nodded. She'd met Jessica Stanley about a year ago, and she had always seemed interested in getting a boyfriend -- though, she'd had her heart set on mike Newton at the time. "I'm glad. Are you gonna talk to any of them?"

She sighed. "Well, I would. But I'm pretty sure some of them are..." She leaned in and whispered, "dating," as if it were a curse and the teacher was standing across the hallway.

Aubrey made a face, pulling at the sleeves of her black sweater and crossing them over her chest. "Are any of them biologically related?"

"I don't know. Either way, it's pretty weird, though," Jessica responded with a shrug. "So, where's your first period?"

"Shit." Aubrey pulled her schedule out of her bag, looking through the classes. As it was her senior year, she was almost finished on all of the credits she needed to graduate high school. Almost. The Reyes girl grumbled as her eyes fell on her first period teacher. "AP Calculus."

"Oof. I mean, didn't Victor take it last year? You could try and see if you have any of his notebooks at your place. You guys used to study together, right?"

Wrong. It was rare that Aubrey even stayed at her own home. Her mother hadn't had the money to move them out of the house after her father died, so she and her little brother were stuck in the same home that Joseph Reyes died in. The only way she would be able to get those textbooks was if she went back into his room, and it had been a silent rule among she and the Hoffmans that no one would go in after the accident.

"Yeah," Aubrey lied through slightly crooked teeth. She subtly went to check the brown watch wrapped around her wrist. "Yeah, no, I could borrow his notes. Definitely. Thanks for the idea, Jess. I should head to class."

Lie. The bell wouldn't ring for another three minutes, and her class was only a few doors down the hall. Still, she was an awful liar, and would have much rather preferred leaving than lying to the younger girl's face.

Caught in her thoughts, Aubrey slammed into a marble-like figure, stumbling back and nearly hitting the ground, if it weren't for a cool hand wrapping around her wrist. Her eyes met a pair of golden irises, belonging to a tiny, pixie-like girl.

"Sorry! I should've seen that coming," The girl laughed, and Aubrey swore it sounded of bells. Her laugh was mesmerizing. She smiled, flashing her pearly white teeth, and held her hand out to Aubrey. "I'm Alice. Alice Cullen."

"Aubrey Reyes," She responded, in somewhat of a daze as she shook the shorter girl's hand. "It's, uh, it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to finally meet you," Alice said with a smile. "I'm new here. My family and I just moved from our home in New Hampshire, and while I'm really good with maps, I was hoping you could show me around?"

'New Hampshire.' Aubrey swallowed, pain flashing in her warm brown eyes for a few seconds, though it was gone in an instant. "Um, did you attend orientation?"

"Oh, no, I was on a camping trip with my family. My dad, Carlisle, likes to go hunting whenever it's sunny. It's sort of a family tradition." The pixie shrugged. "My first class is AP Calculus, though. I have it with my brother, Emmett, but I left him at the car."

Aubrey's eyebrows furrowed. "Why did you do that?"

"Oh, because we were going to meet," Alice said, as if she'd already predicted their meeting days prior.

"Yeah. It's just down the hall. Come with me," Aubrey stated, ignoring the odd feeling she had in her stomach. Alice's bubbliness was the closest to Victor's flamboyant personality as she could get, and Aubrey would've done anything to get close to that kind of light again.

Besides, what was the worst that could happen?

___________

chapter one has been published! let me know what you think of the characters? comment and vote. thank you. ♡

\- trust


	4. ii. painted memories

THE SCHOOL BELL RANG, and Aubrey slipped a joint between her teeth. She was sat on the footsteps outside the school, eyes drifting towards the school parking lot. First period had ended a few minutes ago, and according to her schedule, the next class she would have to attend was art. In truth, she would have rather died than go to an art class. The only reason she'd chosen the class was because Victor had wanted to take it, and they had made a bet to see how many classes they could get together -- despite the fact that Victor was always placed in advanced courses.

As it turns out, they'd been given four classes together, plus lunch. It was a record number, really. Victor would've been proud. Aubrey just felt empty.

She met Victor Hoffman in the summer before seventh grade, when she'd snuck out of her house to go to an ice cream shop and didn't have enough money to pay for chocolate sprinkles. Victor had been standing in front of her and casually slid a dollar in front of her, whistling and looking in the other direction. When she paid, he had gone up to her and introduced himself.

"Hey, I'm Victor," He had greeted, a warm smile on his face. It was one of the things that separated him from the rest of his family. No matter how inevitable it was for a Hoffman sibling to be given dark features and ivory skin, Victor would always have a beaming smile to separate him from the rest. "You go to Forks Middle School, right? How's your summer science project going?"

She shrugged half-heartedly. "I used an idea one of the eighth graders told me. I'm gonna put a white rose in food coloring and see what happens."

"I think I'm gonna steal my sister's. I kinda suck at science." Victor was placed in earth-space honors two months after this conversation. "Do you wanna hang out for a bit? Do you have any plans?"

"No, I think I'm all right. My parents don't come home from work until five, so," She explained. The ice cream parlor was only about a five minute walk from her house, so it wouldn't have taken very long.

"Great!" Victor took her ice cream cone from the worker behind the counter and walked with her to a table by the window. He took a sip from his milkshake and asked, "So, what's your name? I just realized I never asked."

"Aubrey," She responded, watching as Victor subconsciously spun his straw through his milkshake. His eyes were locked on hers, ebony eyes filled with curiosity and amusement. Aubrey later learned that he had a habit of messing with his hands whenever he was sitting too still. She bought him a small fidget toy a year later.

He smiled happily, nodding. "I like that. It's very unique. My parents never really made up their mind on whether they wanted us to have unique names or not. Like, okay, my sister's name is Brinley -- which means, like, 'burnt meadow' or something -- and then they named my little brother Bennett. It's ridiculous."

"I like Bennett," Aubrey defended. "It's a nice name."

"I mean, yeah, but next to two other guys named 'Roman' and 'Victor,' it's kinda underwhelming. He's a cute baby, though. My brother calls him 'little fuck,' and my parents say he looks just like me," Victor shrugged and took another sip of his milkshake. He clicked his tongue for a few seconds before a thought popped into his mind. "So, do you believe in, like, super weird supernatural shit?"

Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, and Victor frowned. "Come on, you have to believe in something. Or, at least, like, believing in the possibility that something super weird and fucked up exists."

"My parents like to tell me stories about La Llorona," Aubrey offered. "It's this myth about a woman who drowned her kids, and then goes around taking other people's kids. They usually told me about her whenever I didn't wanna finish my food, though."

"I like that. It's interesting," Victor laughed. "I like to think about soulmates in Greek mythology a lot. Do you know the story?" When Aubrey shook her head, his eyes lit up. "Okay, so, basically, humans originally had four arms and four legs. Zeus split them up, and now humans have to spend the rest of their lives searching for their other halves."

"Do you actually believe that, though?"

"Yeah, I like to think some people are destined for each other."

He looked up at her through dark lashes, raven black hair framing his face. Red rose to Aubrey's cheeks then, and she tried to cover the involuntary smile that formed on her face.

"Oh, and I think vampires are cool, too."

Aubrey took a long drag of the rolled cigarette in between her fingers, shutting her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. Sometimes, she felt caught -- walking the tightrope between distracting herself and allowing everything to hurt. It felt as though distractions were a sort of betrayal. As if Victor would somehow be offended that she'd had the audacity to try and move on.

She wondered if this was how a regular breakup felt. If she would've felt this much hurt if she and Victor had just broken up -- but then, they'd never had a reason to. Things had been 

She heard a car door shut, and footsteps approaching her. She quickly wiped away her tears and saw tall, blond boy walking in her direction. She breathed the smoke out and quickly put out her joint, sliding it back into a water bottle she'd had hidden in her bag.

"Are you all right, ma'am?" His voice was deep, and he spoke with a faded Southern accent. Aubrey found herself lifting an eyebrow at the detail. He must have been one of the Cullen children, then. Alice had mentioned having other siblings, though they hadn't had much time to speak. Mr. Akuji had spent the entire class moaning on about the syllabus.

She coughed subtly then, hoping the fog and petrichor would conceal the leftover smoke and fumes. She sent a visibly polite smile in his direction, ready to wave him off before he could ask anything else. "I'm fine. Everyone's in second period right now, if you're gonna go in."

"Thank you." He nodded tightly and attempted to walk past her. She let out a sigh and went for her water bottle again, only to wince when she heard him speak again. "Those things will kill you."

"It's a plant," Aubrey said with a chuckle. A wave of calmness seemed to wash over her, and she felt weight on her chest begin to lighten. She shifted in discomfort. "I think I'll be fine. What are you, like super conservative or something?"

"I prefer to call it 'old-fashioned.'" He seemed amused, as if he'd just told an inside joke. "My name is Jasper Hale."

Aubrey turned to face him then, forcing herself onto her feet. She stretched her hand out. "Aubrey Reyes."

He stared at her hand then, frozen. He clenched his jaw, and his eyes seemed to darken the longer he stared. Aubrey frowned at the reaction and quickly pulled her hand away, shoving it in her coat pocket. She grabbed her things and nodded at Jasper, a silent goodbye, before making her way into the building.

From the looks of it, he and Alice had been cut from the same cloth: pale skin, gold eyes, and unspeakably beautiful.

Somewhere, she felt a sense of guilt eat away at her chest.

-

Bennett irritably grabbed a lunch tray, spite fully shoving random foods onto his plate. It was Aubrey and Brinley that got on his ass about not having enough nutrition, and Roman was getting worse by the day. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he couldn't help but get his teeth at the sound.

you have three [3] new messages from roman💀!

roman💀

Hey, did you eat?

Get Aubrey to answer my texts.

How are your classes?

Roman was hours away in Seattle, working some junior salesman job. It was a wonder, considering he was only nineteen, but Roman always had a way of charming people. It was the one thing that he and Victor had always had in common.

He'd made it a habit of checking up on Bennett since the camping trip. Bennett assumed it was guilt, but it was getting irritating. A complete change of personality -- a constant reminder that his brother was dead.

Bennett tossed his tray down onto the nearest empty table, pulling at the collars of his coat in an effort to further hide his face. The action felt useless, but it was comforting nevertheless. It had kept strangers from approaching him throughout class, though there were always stares. His teen angst bullshit was keeping people away from him, and he would take that over 'hey, you're the kid with the dead brother' anyday.

"Hey, you're the kid with the dead brother." Aubrey slid into the seat next to him, a nearly empty tray of food in front of her.

"Hey, you're the girl with the dead boyfriend," Bennett said with a glare. He bit into his chicken quesadilla and lifted an eyebrow at Aubrey. "That's all you're gonna eat?"

"I'm not that hungry."

"Eat my fucking ass, Aubrey." He tossed her a bag of chips, rolling his eyes in the process. Aubrey caught it with ease, just as two teenagers made their way towards the table. Bennett narrowed his eyes at them, hoping that doing so would somehow chase them away. It did not.

The girl spoke first, her hair brown and tucked behind her ears with a black headband. She smiled happily, "Hey, Aubrey. You're Bennett, right? Victor and Roman's brother. Your parents are so nice. My mom met them at a job interview once."

The Hoffmans had been business managers for decades. She understood how she phrased it.

"Were you dropped on your head as a baby?" Bennett asked, a deadpan expression on his face.

The girl raised her eyebrows. "What exactly do you think of me?"

"I'm kinda torn between 'fuck you' and 'go fuck yourself,' I'd say."

Aubrey coughed in discomfort, kicking Bennett in the ankle in the process. "What are you doing here, Jess, Mike?"

Jessica shrugged, setting her chicken strips down in front of her. "We thought we would sit with you guys for lunch. That's not a problem, is it?"

It was a problem. Bennett went to speak, but was quickly drowned out by Aubrey. "No, that's fine. How were your classes today?"

"Great! I have, like, three classes with Edward Cullen. I think he, Jasper, and Alice are single. Rosalie and Emmett are dating, which is really weird considering they're foster kids." Jessica ranted. Bennett lifted an eyebrow, sending her a deadpan look from across the table.

“Who fucking cares?” He said, eyes narrowed at the irritating sophomore girl in front of him.

“Okay, just because your brother died, doesn’t mean you have to be that spiteful.”

A bitter smile formed on his face. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned forward. “And just because you couldn’t get with either of my brothers, doesn’t mean you have to be a fucking—”

“That was uncalled for,” Aubrey said, her voice stiff and generally monotonous. Bennett was convinced she’d shut down her emotions, the same way Brinley had when she heard. It had made a Bennett want to slam his head against a wall.

Aubrey and Victor had dated for years — had known each other for years. Borderline grown up together, and had planned a future together, and on a few months ago, she’d had to deal with the fact that her boyfriend had been murdered in the woods in the middle of New fucking Hampshire.

And here she was, acting as if he hadn’t had to attend her fucking funeral.

“Don’t look now, but the Cullens are looking at us.”

Bennett’s eyes snapped up to Jessica, whose eyes were planted on the table behind them. Of course they were looking. They had wanted to take a look at the freaks of Forks High School. The fucking bastards. The fucking privileged sons of bitches.

Aubrey placed a calming hand on his shoulder, which he easily shrugged off. He turned his head and followed Jessica’s gaze to a table of five kids, who he assumed were the Cullens.

“I’ve met a few of them,” Aubrey said. “Jasper, Alice, and Emmett. They seemed nice.”

There was something off about them. There were three boys. One was buff, with curly brown hair. His arm was wrapped around a girl, with long blonde hair. Beside her was a short Asian girl, with spiky black hair. She seemed to be in some sort of daze. Sat next to her was a ginger boy, who seemed to be focused on him and Aubrey. His lips moved as if he was mumbling something, and the blond boy next to him sat frozen in his seat, a cold look painted on his face.

“They’re fucking creepy,” Bennett decided after a moment.

“Shouldn’t we see what they want?” Jessica asked. “Maybe they want help being shown around the school.”

“You’re head of student council. Maybe you can offer to help them out,” Aubrey suggested. She turned to Bennett and asked, “Do you want to eat in my car?”

“Just forget it,” Bennett muttered, shoving his tray away from him. “I lost my appetite.”

He reached for the box of cigarettes in his pocket and made his way out of the lunch room, barely catching the nervous looks exchanged among the Cullen siblings as he passed by their table.


	5. iii. forget me not

❝ i opened the door and waited for grief to leave;  
but there he remained on my couch, making himself at home ❞

BENNETT ASKED FOR ALONE time that afternoon, allowing Aubrey to head home and give the babysitter the rest of the night off. She was a kind old woman, who lived a few homes away and had retired nearly a decade ago. After Aubrey's father died, she offered to babysit baby Joseph during weekdays. Aubrey's mother had originally denied her, but eventually gave in when the bills became too heavy.

Aubrey smiled at her younger brother, swaddling the toddler in her arms and pressing a kiss to his forehead. He smelled of baby powder, and she found herself holding him closer to her chest. She wished she could freeze time then, hold him tight against her body and keep him safe. Somehow shift to a reality in which he would never feel the sorrow she would carry with her for the rest of time.

His dainty hand wrapped itself around her index finger, and she knew she could never leave. She would stay until his fingers loosened, till his eyes fluttered shut and his breath steadied. Until then, she wouldn't bring herself to leave.

Finally, she found it in herself to make her way around the house. Her eyes fell on a portrait of her father that hung above an altar, in which he wore an old tweed suit and his black hair was slicked back. The corner of her lip twitched at the sight. It was a photo he'd taken in his first year of college. He'd looked much younger then -- the photo itself looked to be yellowed, despite having been placed behind a frame for as long as it had.

The photo was taken a few years before he and her mother had left for America, and she was born. The longer she admired the photo of her fallen father, the more she realized how utterly heartbreaking it would be to live forever. To watch as the ones you love are lost to the path of time. Aubrey's throat tightened, and she shut her eyes, running her fingers over baby Joseph's hand-me-down clothes.

She turned from the altar and headed towards her bedroom. She set Joseph down on her bed, closest to the wall, and pulled on an old black hoodie Victor had given her in the eighth grade. It meant the world to her at the time. It had been one of his favorites, and it smelled off his old cologne. The cheap kind that you could find at the impulse-buy section at Burlington. Still, she would have drowned it in if she could.

Really, it reminded her of Autumn. Days where she would pull on her best coat and gloves, and allowed her mother to fuss over the smallest details, claiming that she never wore enough layers. During those particular days, she would run outside with Victor, Roman and Brinley, while they were still young enough to enjoy themselves. The leaves fell in shades of crimson and gold, their sound of their laughter dancing through the air when they attempted to bury Roman under a pile of old leaves.

The company discontinued it a year later.

It was around five P.M. that Aubrey's mother came home and convinced her to head to the nearest diner for supper. As she walked into the idle café, her eyes fell upon Chief Swan, who was sitting in the far corner of the room. She greeted the middle-aged waitress with a smile and requested a seat nearby.

Charlie Swan was a man in his early fifties, with dark hair and pale skin. He was a relatively lonely man. He'd had a daughter named Isabella, somewhere around Aubrey's age, but she couldn't recall the last time she saw her in town. The people in town said the mother had taken her years ago, leaving Charlie to live in dreary Forks, Washington by himself.

"Good evening, Chief Swan," Aubrey greeted, having been sat at the table across from him.

He looked up from his burger awkwardly and cleared his throat. "Aubrey. How's the family, and, uh," Charlie motioned, "School?"

"It's good. Just bringing home some food," She shrugged half-heartedly. She met Charlie when she was seven, after she wandered too far away from her mother ended up lost at the park. "How are you?"

"Good, good," Charlie nodded awkwardly. It was clear that he didn't know what to say. Most people didn't. Sometimes people looked at her so strangely, she wondered if they could see Victor's ghost clinging onto her shoulders. He paused, then added, "How's, uh... Victor?"

It felt as if someone had caught her by the throat. She must've flinched, because Charlie immediately started apologizing. Aubrey swallowed, shifting in her seat and taking a sudden interest in the shrubs outside the window. "You don't have to apologize. They say it was an animal attack. That stuff just... happens on animal trips, I guess."

They didn't. The Hoffman boys went camping every summer -- to the same area, at the same time of the year. They hadn't so much as encountered a groundhog; still, she would repeat those words. Brinley had fed it to them when it first happened, saying that it was an easy way to end the conversation. They would believe whatever brief explanation they gave; even if it was bullshit.

"Yeah," Charlie nodded, taking a bite of the eggs and bacon on his plate. "So... college? You two were probably planning on going together, right?"

She nodded, ignoring the lump in her throat. It was in this diner that they had that conversation, only a year ago. She remembered him trying to choose between New Orleans or Oregon; the way he had moved the list of universities toward her, the names and locations scribbled in messy handwriting. When he looked up at her, his hematite eyes glowed a sort of happiness that she couldn't help but reflect. She couldn't help but be happy around Victor, feel a warm feeling in her face when he leaned against her.

If she blinked long enough, she remembered the way it felt to hold him closer to her. Even then, she would cling onto him for dear life. As if he would disappear if she was away for too long. The irony wasn't lost on her.

She remembered the way he had violently insulted California. The way his words rang throughout the room, upsetting most of the elderly and causing a few of the waiters to laugh. They were used to his outbursts. People that got to know Victor usually learned to tune out his rants. Aubrey never tried. She never wanted to. Everything was always heightened with Victor. Everything mattered, including 'California and all of its Californian glory.'

She remembered the way he painted a picture of them in New Orleans. She was hesitant to choose universities that were so far away. In all her years at Forks, she'd never imagined herself going further than Portland, let alone a city as large and crowded as New Orleans. She remembered the way he asked if the reason she didn't want to move out of Washington was because of her father.

Joseph Reyes had always been a difficult topic. She rarely spoke of him. Most of the time, when people asked what happened to him, she kept it simple: he died when I was young. Fifteen was young, wasn't it?

She remembered how quickly he lightened the mood when he realized she didn't want to talk about it. He painted a picture of the two of them in New Orleans. Something about how fancy and pretentious they would look in the Autumn, dressed in tweed jackets and walking down Bourbon Street. She remembered that he made some sort of comment about how it would be a completely useless act, considering they would be nineteen and wouldn't turn twenty-one for two more years.

In a haze of thoughts, she bid Charlie a good night, and went to pick up the food. Her eyes flitted to the windows, and she spun her car keys between her fingers as she watched the rain come down. She couldn't remember the last time it had been sunny. Had it always rained this much in Forks?

There was a sort of comfort in it, knowing that the weather was grieving, too. He would have called it poetic, said that it was fate or the universe mourning a loss. He was always more poetic than she was.

It was while she was walking, eyes glazed over with a sort of sad nostalgia, that she bumped into something solid. A groan escaped her mouth, followed by a curse when she realized she nearly dropped her food. She quickly tightened her grip on the bag, and looked up at what she assumed to be a marble statue.

"I'm so sorry. We just keep bumping into each other, don't we?" Alice Cullen looked up at her with a sort of apologetic smile. It was like watching a moving Victorian painting. She let out a soft laugh. "It's almost like fate."

"Oh. It's all right, don't worry about it." Aubrey attempted a gentle smile. She stood awkwardly, waiting for Alice to excuse herself or attempt to move past her. Instead, she stood still, her eyes smiling up at Aubrey with a sort of expectancy. "So, how are you enjoying Forks? You just moved recently, right?"

"We did. I moved with my adoptive parents and siblings, but you know that already," Alice said with a wink. "It's quite lovely here. There's a cozy feeling to it."

"Yeah. It's really nice during the fall." She nodded, awkwardly. She really wasn't sure what she was supposed to do now. All she knew was that there was this strange feeling about Alice. If death hung around Aubrey's shoulders, it clung to Alice Cullen. She wasn't even sure what it was. There was just this cold feeling she got around Alice, burying itself deep in her chest and crawling down to her stomach.

Was that how people felt around her? When she walked, did people see Victor standing beside her? Did they hear his laughter the same way she did? Did they remember him better than she did?

"So, did you get started on the Calculus notes?" Aubrey asked, messing with her sweater.

"I did!" Alice chirped. "Maths is a subject that comes a bit easier to me. I've had a lot of practice."

Practice? Wasn't she a junior?

"Oh, we move around a lot," She added, despite the fact that Aubrey was positive she hadn't said anything or made any sort of reaction. "I could help you, if you want. You seemed like you needed help during that practice problem."

"Yeah, math has never really been my subject," Aubrey admitted. "The whole STEM thing, actually. I'm more of a right-brain sort of person."

"Do you play any instruments?"

"I used to," Aubrey nodded. There was something violently uncomfortable about standing in the middle of a roadside diner, answering questions about herself. She cleared her throat, fiddling with the keys in her hand.

Alice seemed to notice. "Why don't we go outside? We can sit in my car, since it looks like it's about to rain."

"Welcome to Forks," She mused, following Alice out of the diner. She wasn't even sure what to expect. She'd seen Alice and her siblings in the parking lot a few times. Bennett usually demanded to leave as soon as he got to the car. It was when she was standing in front of the passenger seat of a shiny silver Volvo that she was violently reminded that she was working class.

"It's Edward's," Alice explained. "He has a thing for fast cars, and Emmett and Rosalie's draw more attention."

"I can't imagine what draws more attention than this," Aubrey admitted. She pulled the door open, sliding into the front seat and placing the bag of food between her feet. She tried to think of all of the times she'd seen Victor make friends. There was a long ellipsis. "So, what brings you to Forks?"

"Oh, my foster father was able to get a job here," She responded cheerfully. "We liked it back home, but we thought that it was time for a change in environment. Carlisle insists that we live in small towns."

"Carlisle?"

"Our foster father. We usually just call him Carlisle," Alice explained, waving off the strangeness of the action. Maybe it was a foster kid thing. "Well, adoptive father, and his wife, Esme. Most of us prefer small towns."

"How long ago were you adopted?" Aubrey asked, looking over at the girl. She'd only seen her from a distance, and now that she was sitting a foot away from her, it was like getting hit with a truck. Alice Cullen was, physically, perfect. Her skin was pale and glassy, practically poreless. Her lips were full and pink, and her silky black hair was cut into a neat pixie. Were people usually this perfect?

Alice was quiet for a moment. "Not too long ago. I'm the newest to join the family, actually."

"Yeah. You guys are pretty diverse," She chuckled, messing with the keys in her hands. She ran her thumb across her house key, which had become a sort of fidget toy for her recently. Bennett had a running bet for how long it would take to rust.

"Is it true your boyfriend's dead?"

Aubrey stiffened, her body going rigid. Of course she heard about it. Rumors about Victor weren't exactly hard to come by. Her heart dropped to her stomach, and for a brief moment, she could imagine what Victor might have said. He might have laughed, and made a joke about how direct her question was. She was sure she didn't mean for it to sound cold. It didn't make it hurt any less. "Yeah. He died a few months ago."

"My condolences," Alice said, bowing her head. "Was he a good boyfriend? What was his name?"

"Victor. And yes, he was a good boyfriend. We were together for four years, I think." She could hear her own voice growing choppy. Aubrey coughed and pulled her head back, facing the ceiling of the car.

"Are you still close with his family?"

"Uh... Yeah. We basically grew up together, so we try to talk everyday." Aubrey cleared her throat, sucking in a breath. She attempted to stay patient. She wasn't exactly asking about the relationship in its entirety, or the circumstances of his death. It was fine. "His little brother, Bennett, is one of my best friends, so..."

"That's good to hear," Alice nodded, keeping her tone light and airy despite the tense atmosphere. "Sometimes it's worse to grieve alone."

"I wouldn't know." She turned her head away, letting it fall as she wiped her tears away with her sweater. Aubrey cleared her throat again, anxiously spinning her keys around her index finger.

"I don't remember much before the Cullens adopted me; but we moved a lot. I lost those I care about even if it's not in the same way."

"Yeah. That's... similar."

It wasn't. You could reach out to your old friends -- you could call them over the phone, keep up with them through email, write letters. You would know how they're doing. When someone dies, you don't speak to them ever again. You forget the sound of their voice. You forget the secret freckles in their hands, or the way their eyes crinkled when they laughed. You forget the little details about the person you love, until you don't even really remember why you loved them.

"Do you want to do something or go somewhere?" Alice offered, attempting to diffuse the situation. "We can go shopping!"

Aubrey chuckled humorlessly. "I... I don't have the money to go shopping."

Alice smiled at her, "No worries, I can always pay for it."

Her face immediately shifted, looking over at her. "No, I--"

Alice interrupted Aubrey before she could get another word in, "Nope, this isn't a handout or me expecting something out of you. I simply believe in retail therapy, and that everyone should participate every once in a while -- which is why I am okay with paying."

"C'mon, Baby Ray. I'll pay the rent, and you'll pay me back by being the best girlfriend in the world. Which you already do, so it's a win-win. What do you say?"

"O...Okay?"


End file.
